Shannara

The exact same face I did when I realized what a mockery of Shannara, books I grew up with in my teen years, this hideous series is. Sure, it wasn't particularly faithful nor brilliant in its own right so far, but... disco-loving Hamish? Star Trek? please.

This is fantasy for the Jersey Shore generation, the same generation that just doesn't get it: fantasy is about being someone else you'll never get the chance to be in real life, for the space of a book or a film, and it's definitely not about 'edging up' shit for the sake of teen cred. Fantasy is simply not something you update at will. Thinking that we won't be able to digest classic fantasy unless it includes guns, sexula innuendos and cowboy hats is, quite frankly, offensive, and you were proven wrong almost ten years ago.

So fuck you, Terry Brooks, for selling your soul to MTV; and fuck you, MTV, for serving this steaming pile of shit and trying to make us grateful for it. Would have been better to have no adaptation at all? you bet.

Also, dear Amberle, you are yet another step back in the evolutionary scale of elves. There is room for a very limited number of elven ladies in my heart, and you're not one of them.

You, however...